Falling Behind (Falling Series) Page 11

  “You can’t ask why. You are not allowed to discuss this, after today. Just know that it is for her benefit. She has things going on that she needs to address and I couldn’t let her be part of this team, while she is working out these issues. Her parents and I were in total agreement. Please do not try to question Reese; as you can see, she is just as surprised as all of you. “

  I wasn’t sure what to do. “Coach, can I go to the bathroom? I will just be a minute.” Bathroom breaks during practice where frowned upon. We were old enough to hold it for the two hours we committed to. The team should be uninterrupted, but I was hoping she would understand.

  Without even looking at me she said, “Make it quick.”

  I ran to the locker room. As I pulled the door open, Titus walked around the corner and looked at the tears in my eyes. It was the first time we had actually looked at each other since the day after the Formal. I let go of the door and took a step toward him.

  “Reese, I can’t. I’m going to be late for practice.” He turned and jogged the short distance to the gym.

  My heart broke. I missed my friends. I missed Candice’s laugh and even her controlling habits. I even missed the fact that all guys wanted her and not me. I missed Ty. I missed his smell and strength, the way he knew me and was there to listen to everything. I missed the three of us hanging out on my bed and talking at all hours of the night. I guess it’s true you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

  I walked into the bathroom and washed my face, inhaling stale bathroom air before heading back to practice. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into my bed and let the grief roll over my body. Dark thoughts started to surface and I pushed them down with a smile and ran back to practice. I could cover up my hurt.

  That night, after dinner, which never actually made it to my mouth, I sat talking with my mom. “Can we change my number?”

  Mom’s brows pinched together. “Why?”

  “Josh and I broke up. He wanted to take our relationship to the next level and I told him I wasn’t ready. He didn’t seem to care. He kept making an issue of it, so I ended it.”

  “Did he do something you weren’t wanting?” Mom’s eyes were full of fear.

  “No.”

  “Well then, it’s for the best. We’ll get it changed, tomorrow. Shut it off, for tonight.” Getting up she leaned toward me and kissed my head. “Love you, Baby Girl. Sleep tight.”

  “Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Love you, Mom.” It was our routine when I was sad. It reminded us both that I would always be her little girl.

  Over the next few weeks, my days passed the same. Early to school, hide in the library. Catch an early ride home, hide at home. Shower, sleep, repeat. I hadn’t been doing my homework, classwork or eating. What I did eat didn’t stay in my stomach long. I was falling behind. I had no clue what was going on in school, no idea what was going on with my friends. I honestly didn’t even know what was going on with me. The rumors, which were pretty accurate as far as to what happened with me, bothered me. I had sex in an orchard, while a party was going on. It doesn’t matter whether I wanted it or not. He was my boyfriend. I had loved him. I thought I had anyway. I said that I did. Titus hadn’t talked to me since the day in front of the locker room when he told me he didn’t have time to talk. I went back to sitting in a desk far away from him, in the few classes we shared. It took a good week for Candice to show back up at school. She wouldn’t even look in my direction.

  I was headed for fourth period when I decided I would try to talk to Titus, again. I walked into class early and headed to my normal seat. When I heard footsteps behind me, I turned to find Mr. Wait waiting, just behind me.

  “Is everything going all right, Reese?”

  “Yeah, fine.”

  He cocked an eyebrow at me. He knew I wasn’t fine. He saw. “You know, I don’t believe that. You haven’t turned anything in, for weeks. I can’t force you to tell me what’s going on. But, what I can and will do is offer you my listening skills. I am a great listener.” He flashed his dimples and winked at me.

  “Thank you, I may take you up on that sooner, rather than later.”

  “You should. When you’re ready, I have a make-up packet for you.” He nodded his head and walked away, toward his desk. I could talk to him. I think I could talk to him.

  “Mr. Wait?”

  “Yeah, Reese?” He turned back toward me. There were only a few students walking in, now.

  “You know when something happens and you do the right thing, but the consequences afterward don’t really feel like it?”

  “Yeah, Reese, I believe I do.” He scanned the classroom before locking his gaze with mine. “Can we talk this afternoon? We can meet in Mr. Gustin’s office. Or we can meet with Sarah, the counselor. It’s up to you.”

  “Okay, thank you; let’s meet with Sarah.”

  He smiled and started class. At the end of class, he dismissed everyone ten minutes early asking me and Titus to stay.

  “You two need to talk. It’s none of my business, I know, but I can’t handle it. Talk, now!” He spun around and headed out the door without another word.

  Titus stopped short of the door and spun around coming back toward me. He slumped down into the desk next to mine. His thumb went to his mouth. I could tell it was red and he had been chewing on it a lot lately.

  “How are you?” I asked, looking at the swirls of fake wood on my desk.

  “Pissed, upset, livid.” He looked toward me and dropped his hand from his mouth. “I hate him, Reese. I hate that everyone, including him, is talking about what happened to you. I hate me the most for not being there for you. I am so sorry. I should have never let anything get between us.” He ran his fingers through his hair. I wondered for a brief second if I’d ever be able to do that to him. Shaking my head, this was not the time to think about what I wanted to do to Titus.

  I reached across the aisle and gripped his hand in mine. “You should be.” I chuckled. “I’m sorry, too.”

  “So, Josh?” He finally looked at me.

  “It’s over.” It was my turn to look away.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I turned back to him, fighting back the tears. I’ve missed Ty so much. I would rather have him as a friend than nothing at all. “Later? Do you think you could come over after the game?” It was our last home game.

  “Yeah, I can. Has Candice talked to you, yet?”

  Hope flared in my chest. Maybe my other best friend, and the completion to our triad, would forgive me. “No, why?”

  “She just mentioned that she wanted to talk to you.”

  My chance to respond was stopped by Mr. Gustin and Mr. Wait walking into the classroom. “Reese, Titus, can I see you both in my office, please.” They both came through the door looking sullen.

  Titus and I shared a look before we followed them to the Principal’s office. When we turned the corner around the secretary’s desk, we both stopped. Our moms and Candice’s parents were standing in his small office.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Titus

  I didn’t know what I was expecting when Mr. Gustin came to get us. I wasn’t expecting to see my mom, along with Reese’s mom sitting in his office with Candice’s parents. Mr. Gustin stuck his head into his office. “Follow us, we’ll head into the teacher’s lounge where there will be more room.”

  My mom quickly caught up to me, grabbing my hand and squeezing. I looked into her tear filled eyes. Something was wrong, very wrong. Looking around our parents I noticed everyone, even Mr. Warner had tears. “What’s going on?”

  “Candice is missing. She hasn’t shown up for school and, as we always do, we called home to check. She wasn’t there.” Mr. Gustin started to explain. He looked at Reese and then me. “She said she was headed to Reese’s earlier this morning to apologize. But we already know she wasn’t there. We need to think about where she and Alex would go. I would say it’s safe to say that they’re together, since he also is also
absent.” That was when Reese checked out. I saw it on her beautiful face. She stopped hearing what he was saying and started shaking and sweating, her breathing quick and shallow.

  I stepped over to her just as her mom was trying to get her attention. “Reese, Reese?” Her mom shook her. “Listen, we need your help. Please focus.”

  She wasn’t getting through to her. I could see the panic rising in her eyes. I had been through these with her, before; last year, after her break up with Graham. I knew her mom had, too; but I also knew I could bring her out of it. “Let me?” I asked Diane, waiting for her to step aside. When she nodded and stepped back, I cupped Reese’s chin with my hand. “Reese, look at me.” I stroked my thumbs along her jaw before moving one had to the back of her neck and massaging it. “We need to think about C. Can you hear me now, Reese?”

  I waited, staring into her eyes. I continued to massage her neck when the light came back into her eyes. She was with me, again. She nodded and I continued. “Candice told her mom she was going to your house, before school, to apologize. When she didn’t show up for school, the secretary called and her mom didn’t know where she was. That’s all that is going on. We just need to think about where they could be.”

  I searched her eyes, she was still with me. I was worried I would send her falling back into the blackness that takes her during an attack. “Reese, I need you to look into my eyes and listen to me. Okay? We need to think, where would he take her? Reese, where did he take her to be alone?”

  “Black Bridge.” She nearly whispered. But we were all so quiet that everyone heard and Mr. Gustin was already on the phone. I wanted, no, I needed to go.

  I twisted toward Mr. Gustin, “Can we go?”

  “I think it will be better if the two of you go home with your moms. Mr. & Mrs Warner and I will call the school sheriff and have him follow us to the bridge. We will contact you both when she is home.” He looked to George for affirmation. George nodded in response.

  I had let go of Reese’s head but I held her hand. I loved the feel of her fingers laced with mine. I gave them a gently squeeze, three of them, actually. Three squeezes meant “I love you”. It was something me and my mom had done, forever. Reese didn’t know what those three squeezes meant, but she will one day, soon. I loved her. With my whole heart.

  Diane grabbed Reese’s other hand and led us out the front doors of the office. She wrapped Reese in a hug and then embraced me, tightly. Letting go, she looked at my mom, “Nicole, would you and Titus like to wait with us at our house?”

  “Yes, please.” My mom had stopped the tears from spilling down her face, but she was visibly still upset. I held my other hand out to her as we walked toward their cars.

  Reese

  We waited in silence, for a phone call. I knew she would be there. I was scared of what they would find her doing. Titus was sitting in his corner of our couch and, for the first time in months, I curled up to his side and let him comfort me.

  That’s when my mom’s cell phone rang. “Hello?” There was a pause and my stomach flopped as Titus tightened his grip on my shoulder. “Yes, Mr. Gustin. Thank you for calling.”

  Mom looked furious and I couldn’t figure out why. She hung up the phone and looked at the three of us with silent tears streaming her face. “She was under the bridge, down on the side of the river bank. They suspect she had been using drugs. Do either of you know anything about this?”

  I shook my head and looked up at Titus. “I didn’t, did you?”

  “I had some suspicion but I wanted some evidence before telling anyone.” He dislodged me from his side, sitting up and putting his head in his hands before continuing. “She was already so upset with Reese for ‘telling’ on her. I thought if I could keep an eye on her, it would help keep her out of trouble.”

  Nicole ran a caring hand over his head, smoothing down his hair. “It’s okay, Ty. You didn’t know. What do think she was using?”

  Mom answered. “They suspect cocaine. She was unconscious. And pretty beat up. Mr. Gustin said he couldn’t go into detail, but her parents were with her in an ambulance, as a precaution, headed to the hospital.”

  “Can we go?” I turned my pleading eyes on the three of them.

  Nicole and Mom shared a concerned look. “No. Not right now.”

  Mom looked at both of us. “Let’s wait until they have time to get to the hospital and give them a chance, as a family, to discuss things. I promise I will take you two to see her, later this afternoon.”

  Nicole agreed and then asked if Titus could possibly stay with us since she had to head back to work, unfortunately. I didn’t find it unfortunate at all; Titus would be able to worry, here, with me.

  “Yes, we would love to have Titus wait with us. As I said, when we head in this afternoon he can go with us; and I will call to update you on Candice.” Mom smiled sweetly at Nicole and pointed to the door. “Let me walk you out.”

  “They’re talking about us.” Titus said, with a bump to my shoulder.

  “Yep. I had no clue she was using.” I turned sideways on the couch, crossing my legs beneath me so I could see his face.

  “You aren’t the most observant. Your boyfriend”−

  −“Ex!”

  He laughed. “Fine, your ex-boyfriend used, too. Didn’t know that one either, did you?”

  “No way. We were always together; he wouldn’t have had time to use.” My mind started reeling. It made sense: the mood swings, the days he was late. “Unless, the mood swings, I guess it makes sense.”

  Titus didn’t say anything just touched his finger to his nose. Now I wondered if every time he verbally forced me to have sex, he was high. It was all coming together, now. “Do you know anything about that stuff?”

  “Not really, just what I’ve heard some of the varsity team members say.”

  I started to ask what he meant when mom walked back in. “Can we go listen to music in my room?”

  “Sure, you know the rules. Door open, even with Titus. I’ll let you know when I hear something on Candice.” Mom settled into the couch and we headed to my room.

  I was debating whether to talk about what happened with Josh and me or to ask about what the varsity guys said about the coke, when he wrapped me in a tight hug and kissed my forehead. Electricity, like I’ve never felt, flowed over my body, warming me from head to toe. Just when I was wondering if he felt it, too, he tipped my chin up with his thumb and looked deep into my eyes.

  “I’ve waited a long time to kiss you, again.” His breath brushed my face.

  I swallowed back the nerves, this was Titus. I wanted this. I didn’t feel his lips touch mine; instead, he let go of me and my eyes flew open. He walked to my collage of the three of us on my closet door. My mom poked her head in.

  “Just wanted to tell you I made lunch, if you’re hungry.” She looked between me and Titus, curiously.

  I begged her, with my eyes, to go. “I can’t eat anything right now. How about you, Ty?”

  He turned with a huge smile. “I’m starved.” He walked out, following Mom, and took the only chance I’ve ever had to kiss him. I threw myself on my bed and groaned. What exactly did he mean by “again”?

  Titus never came back in my room. Maybe because I fell asleep; but when I woke up, I was startled by the darkness. Sitting up, I felt around for my phone, finally locating it under my pillow. The display showed six-thirty. It must be night; otherwise the sun would be up. I stretched, yawning, until the events of the last few days came barreling down on me, sucking the air from my lungs. I ran into the living room to find, Titus and Nicole sitting with my parents.

  I glanced at everyone and no one in room would meet my eyes. Something was wrong. Candice. I looked at Titus. “Ty, what’s going on?”

  He looked to my mom before standing and leading me outside. He held me in his arms, his body shaking with sobs; he hadn’t even said a word and I felt my world come crashing down. Alex had killed Candice. Dropping to my knees, I folded in on my
self laying in a fetal position. Praying that I was wrong, knowing I was right. The fear that raked through me tore another sob from my chest. I wasn’t aware of anything. For all I knew I was laying on the ground alone, dead, because my absolute best friend was dead.

  My heart was broken, my lungs wouldn’t work right, and my mind was flying through thought after thought of Candice, Titus and I growing up. I kept my eyes closed and focused on her pretty face, her smile and big eyes. I wasn’t ready to face whoever was picking me up, right now.

  I felt warmth envelope me and smelled Titus’ pure male scent before he jostled me a little and held me closer. “We’ll get through this, together. You didn’t let me tell you what was going on. Candice isn’t dead. She overdosed, but they were able to save her. Her physical injuries were bad, but not life threating.” I didn’t open my eyes, so he continued, “Reese, did you hear me? Candice is not dead.”

  I was still focusing only on her face, but I could hear him talking, now. “All I did was hug her and she dropped to her knees and folded into a fetal position. She just stopped crying a few minutes ago, I figured it would be best to bring her in. I told her Candice wasn’t dead, but I don’t know if she can hear me, right now. She isn’t responding.”

  “She’s in shock.” My dad explained. “By the look on our faces, she had already made her mind up as soon as she walked in the room. I could see it in her eyes. She was shutting down before you went outside, Titus. Lie her down on the couch and we’ll cover her up. We need to keep her warm and watch her breathing.” I knew I needed to let them know I could hear them, but I couldn’t get my mind to do anything but stare at my image of Candice.

  I felt Titus lay me on our couch, the warmth of a blanket covering me and his lips brush a kiss across my forehead. “I’ll be right here.” The couch shifted and he put my feet in his lap.

  Soon the darkness and numbness took over, again. I couldn’t hear or feel anything.

  Chapter Seventeen